I just finished officiating a wedding for some dear friends. It was a great wedding. The groom’s knees buckled when he saw his bride come into the church, and then wept tears of joy when he took her hand. The bride couldn’t stop smiling and when she sang, I was right in front of her and the passion and beauty of her voice were such that I thought the heavens might open and we would see into the world of glory. The wedding feast was a grand affair, not rushed, the food and drink were amazing, and to see this young couple honored by their friends and families—well, it was what you would hope a wedding and feast would be.

Weddings fascinate me. I have seen some crazy things at weddings—some good, some, well—let’s just leave it at that. What fascinates me about weddings is that no matter what culture you go to or whatever period of time in history you examine, there is this emphasis on gilding and decking the affair with food, feasting, merriment, and beauty. If you think about it, marrying is a rather mundane affair; most people do end up getting married. And I don’t care how many stories you hear about the father or father-in-law offering vast amounts of money if the couple would elope, rarely do you see the bride and groom that have taken the money and run. No, we are all intrigued by weddings. Something weighty is going on, something that will not allow us to treat them as caviler and attend them with flip-flops and a t-shirts.

It is because of the joy associated with weddings that the key metaphor God uses to show how he relates to his people is that he is married to them. We see this in the Old Testament and we see it carried on in the New Testament. It is no accident that Jesus’ first miracle is at a wedding feast. He lingers three days at the feast and no doubt is caught up in the festivities and joy of the occasion. Think about this image for a moment—the image we are to think about when we think about how God looks and relates to us is more of a lover than a lawgiver. I am sure there are people reading this that would like to tar and feather me for saying that, but the evidence in undeniable.

When we get to the end of Revelation, the picture of heaven is that Jesus is a bridegroom who is throwing a wedding feast for his bride. This would sound profane if it were not true; it would sound like blasphemy if we didn’t see over and over again the love Jesus has for his people, like that of a bridegroom for his bride. When I think that in the wedding feast that Jesus has planed, he will look at me and his knees will buckle, I am almost ashamed to write it because it sounds like a fairy tale. I

know what I am like; how could God be preparing a feast like that for me when I am constantly unfaithful and am

always running after other lovers? But it is true, and it is this that makes me want to love Jesus. It is the fact that

he will spend eternity adoring me and adorning me that, when I am beat down by my own sin and the cares of the world, gives me hope. God relates to me in love.

Is there law? Of course. Teri and I have talked about this a lot. We have to often go back to the basics when our own selfishness crowds out affection, but we basically live and relate to each other in love, not list.  I can’t imagine that it could be any other way. I can’t imagine that you could hope and expect intimacy from another human being when you were merely trying to do your duty by them. That might by your image of romance, but it isn’t mine, and we certainly can’t get from Scripture or experience that God relates to us like that either. Love draws you out of yourself; you don’t think about yourself. To really love means your highest joy is the happiness of the beloved. Law is not the opposite of love, but if law is the only way you relate to God or to others, it will be a minimalist mentality. “What do I have to do to get by?” “I have done my duty, so now I can get on to what I want to do.” Conversely, love delights to go the extra mile, to do the hard thing, to give and give without feeling put upon because the aim is to delight the beloved, and not just to do your duty.

And when it come to loving God and loving your spouse ,Mike Mason says it best in his book, The Mystery of Marriage.  The author was about to become a monk and then fell in love with Karen. He was wrestling with loving God and loving her, because he was overcome by love for both. Listen to what he writes about this supposed tension. “I was writing about my love affair with Jesus. I was writing my prayer life. My love for God got all mixed up with my love for Karen. It began to seem all the same to me, which indeed it is. Love is love. If we truly have a love for God, we will find that it spills over to those around us, particularly our spouse.” He is right. If you start thinking in categories of loving God and loving your spouse, and that one steals from the other, you are thinking is wrong categories. We love God as we love our spouse.

Knee bucking love—that is what Jesus has for us, nothing less! So why do we act as if God is so distant? Or absent? Or doesn’t care? The cross proves his love. Because we could never be perfect lovers, he did all that was necessary to make us beautiful. The wedding is the picture of God’s love for his people; it is also the picture of what can be true in our own marriages.