I got the phone call the other day I dreaded. It was from Bethan. I was driving to a meeting and it is always good to chat. I am still adjusting to having one of the “begats” away from hearth and home, but the fact she loves to call and talk does warm my heart. Then she asked me the question I was dreading, because I thought I knew where it was heading. “Dad, what are you giving up for Lent?” I told her I was not excited about giving up anything for Lent, I was basically feeling very selfish and materialist and was still meditating on it. She then said, “I think we ought to give up books for Lent.” I cringed inwardly. She had fingered the one thing I thought she would suggest, which happens to be the thing in this world I love the most other than my family.

I crawfished on her. I pointed out that books were our life, she a student and me a preacher—our whole life is a love and appreciation for the written word. I also pointed out a lot of other stuff about needing to study and all that. She was not deflected. “Isn’t that the point, Daddy, this is what we love. But do we love it more than Jesus?” Again I cringed. Her further exploration of this theme painted me into a corner. “Dad, we read all the time. I am not talking about study and necessity, but just reading all the stuff we like to read till the wee hours of the morning. All the books we call each other to talk about all the time.” I told her I would think about it. I knew where this was coming from. Recently we both read a book about a girl who did take on this discipline during the season of Lent. I remembered being impressed when I read it, and I really suspected Bethan might concoct something like this.

Later when I went home Teri and the younger children were doing homework and I asked them what they were giving up for Lent. We have encouraged them to do this from a young age. Not so that they would think they get points from God, but to make sure that the things they love are not idols they love more than God. Anne Rachael and Patrick said something. I honestly don’t remember what it was because I was thinking about my next question. I asked them, “What do you think I love most?” They both said my family and so I said, “Besides that.” Without hesitation they both said, “Books.” I was afraid of that—confirmation from the mouths of babes.

The more I think about it, the more I am lost in wonder. My daughter is “getting it.” I have seen her grow in faith and love for God at Ole Miss. I have seen her grow in love for Jesus more since she has been away from home than when she was at home. I see her voluntarily taking a pilgrimage deeper into the mystery of saving faith and I am blown away. She is challenging me. She is “iron sharpening iron.” How could I not walk this pilgrimage with her? So I called her back and said I would do it, but she would have to be honest with me and confess if things got hard and unbearable and I would do the same. My wife was so excited she told me since I would have a lot more time, I might want to ponder what the next home project would be.

Is this strange? I once thought so, but I don’t anymore. For centuries the church has designated the 40 days before Easter as a time to ponder the work of Christ on the cross and what it means. Forty days to ponder what our sins cost Jesus. Forty days to examine our life and see where we really stand. Forty days to peel away all the large and small idols that sustain us to see where our real love rests. To aid in that, people often fast, give up things they love or add disciplines that often are external but which aid in the inward journey of the soul.

How does giving up books aid me personally? Well, sin is not only breaking rules. The very essence of sin is spiritual adultery. This is what suburbanites need to know. We have all the stuff; the problem is we let good things become the one thing that we really live for. Anytime a good gift of God becomes the thing that really seems to give you life and the thing you think you can’t live without, it has reached the level of an idol. Personally, I think it is good to think in terms of, “What is it I couldn’t live without?” If you say anything other than Jesus, that thing has become your real savior. We all need to periodically look at those good gifts of God like books, food, hobbies and habits and abstain for a season. We are not free in Christ if there are things other than Jesus that we are building our lives on.

A lot of Christians would argue, “That is so external.” Well fasting is also, so why do it? Because of the link between the body and the soul. Often it is the doing of a thing even if we don’t feel like it that forces the heart to engage. Manners for instance are totally external, yet in the display of manners, (an external discipline and a good one) even when we don’t feel like having them, we are forcing ourselves to act in a way that is true. Feeling be damned on this, we obey and we use manners because it is right, regardless of whether we feel like it or not. Typically when we do what is right, when we obey, feelings and affections come. However, if we wait till we have the warm fuzzies to serve God and obey, we will most likely never even begin a life of faith. Sometimes it even takes our children to help us see this.